Have a Good Idea.

At work there are certain things I always say.

Sometimes I think of it as a sort of chant.

“Blah blah price today. Thank you. Here you go.”

It’s a chorus of numbers and repeated phrases,

A ballet of credit cards and coffee cups.

Corporate choreography through a sliding glass window,

Thrust horizontally apart then back together.

Once the dancers have descended

It is time for the last line of the opera

And I am the fat lady who bids them good day

In a sing-songy voice.

But today is not the same.

My diction derails somewhere between

Mind and body, takes a course of its own

and comes out:

“Have a good idea!”

I didn’t mean to say it but I decide to mean it-

This appeal for innovation by the slip of a tongue.

And so I say again to you,

Have a good idea.

Hold onto it like the last word you read

Before you looked up from your book;

The word you’ll return to when you’re

Trying to find your place.

Have a good idea

And then turn it into something else.

Plant it and grow it and pluck it and use it.

Refuse to let it die.

Have a good idea

To do something about your life.

To help someone else’s.

To change anything as long as it’s for the better.

And if you can’t think of anything, at least

Have the good idea to have a good day.

Secular.

Recent themes swimming around my mind have been secularity and time management. My whole life there's been this divide between Christian and everything else. There's Christian music, Christian literature, Christian t-shirts (which are awful, am I right?). There's this entire closed off community of religion that we're taught will keep us pure and holy. We're urged not to fall into the temptation of listening to rap music or watching movies with profanity. This, to me, is a load of poop. 

Everything doesn't have to be so black and white. There shouldn't be a difference in our lives between "secular" and Christian. Every talent that we have is from the Lord. We don't have to be singing a song about God, writing some allegorical tale of Christ's life, or painting pictures of crosses to be using our gifts to serve Him.

We are so focused on compartmentalizing our lives when it should all just be one big thing. We should be glorifying God in everything that we do, but that doesn't mean we have to be street evangelists or nuns. Be whatever you want to be when you grow up, watch movies, sing along to the radio. If we let our love for the Lord encompass our lives, then there doesn't have to be a "secular".

This leads me to the other aforementioned topic of time management. I am always hearing people talk about spending time with the Lord. In bible studies my whole life I have been taught that it is imperative to find separate time from my regular life to pray and be with the Lord. But I've been thinking lately, what if that's what we're doing wrong- thinking that our relationship with the Lord is dependent on scheduled time away from our lives to talk to God.

Once again, I think this begs the question of why do we need a separation? What if we just incorporate God more into our daily lives instead of trying to squeeze him in as an entirely separate concept? I'm as guilty as the next lad of feeling too busy for said time with the Lord. Between work, school, and (ironically) church, I've, at times, felt like I was failing because I couldn't set apart any time for the Lord. The more I thought about it, though, the idea of setting apart time didn't sit right with me.

I'm just sick of this whole this-or-that mentality. Do the things you love to do. Do them for the Lord. And do them awesomely.

I know that we are to be "in this world and not of this world." We're not supposed to be conforming to the patterns of the world. I agree with that. But it is possible to love life without losing sight of eternity. It's possible to find this fleeting earth beautiful. It seems to me that creating worship songs that are nearly identical to every other worship song ever is in direct violation of the no conforming rule. Don't just glue your feelings about Jesus onto some G, C, D chords and call it good. Express those feelings through the creativity you've been given. Go against the grain. Be radical, be passionate, be genuine.

Be like Mumford and Sons who are not classified under Christian music, but whose lyrics are immersed in a spiritual beauty more profound than nearly any praise band I've encountered. At their concert in June they started into "Awake My Soul" by saying that they were going to sing a gospel song. I don't know if these men are actually Jesus-loving dudes or not, but either way, their expression of blatantly Christian themes in otherwise secular music has given me some of the most intensely worshipful experiences of my life.

Bottom line, I just think that life should be life. We're given it from the Lord and we should use it for the Lord. It doesn't matter what or how. It matters why. If we're taking our gifts and using them to their fullest potential to glorify the Lord, that will be clear and that will be powerful, and that is what matters. 

Giving More Than Thanks.

This may not be your typical Thanksgiving blog post. Instead of listing all the many things for which I am grateful, and I assure you that list is long, I want to challenge you.

You probably spent today doing a combination of the following: eating a lot, enjoying great company, sleeping, planning your day of shopping tomorrow, getting ready for the Christmas season. Undoubtedly you took time to reflect on all of the things you are blessed to have; the things you too often take for granted.

Perhaps some of you even took a moment or two, or maybe even more, to think about the people in this world who have fewer reasons to give thanks. I want to take that a step further. Last Sunday I went to different church (Restore Church in Liberty, MO) than my home church. The sermon was about giving, and it has been swimming in my mind since then. Too, too often I am an extremely selfish person. I do give, but not as much as I should, and I tend to want people to know about it when it does happen. I am not proud of that fact, and I am working to change it.

Today I challenge you to give. Take some of the money you would have spent on yourself and spend it on someone else, someone who needs it. As you are filling out your Christmas list, instead of asking for 10 things, ask for 5 and say that you want the rest of the money to be spent on something great.

In terms of selfless giving, the options are endless, but I want to focus on one particular organization that is close to my heart.

His Voice Global.

This organization creates opportunities for orphans. So far they have built 3 orphanages and a church in Sudan. They have seen many approaches to these types of ministries that end up hurting the indigenous people, and for that reason they've taken their own approach.The staff of these orphanages are completely indigenous so as to build up the community and economy in each location. Their goal is to "strengthen the local church by promoting the reality of God's holistic vision to reach people." They want to see the local church in the states partner with the local church of Sudan. His Voice Global is doing incredible things in the world, and I can't explain how much they inspire me. There is no way this little blurb does them justice, so I encourage you to visit their website: http://www.hisvoiceglobal.com and learn more.

I also encourage you to support them. Right now there are two major ways to do that:
1. HVG is currently working on raising money for a fourth orphanage to house 100 orphans. Not only that, but they hope to also build a school for the orphans and other village children, a medical clinic, a church, and a freshwater well. This is a hefty goal, for which they've already made a lot of progress. Your help would do wonders.
2. Their goal this Christmas season is to outfit each of the orphans with two new full sets of clothes (shirt, skirt/shorts, and shoes). This means 410 sets of clothes! It is $20 dollars to send one set. It might sound crazy, but think of how radical it would be to tell your loved ones that instead of getting them a Christmas gift this year, you clothed an orphan in their honor!
For specific information about option 2, visit http://www.hisvoiceglobal.com/orphan.php.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I am grateful for you.

Say "I love you"

This weekend was my sister's wedding and it was wonderful. She looked amazing, and even better she looked so happy. Everything went smoothly and I think everybody had a great time. I know that Jon will be good to her and I am really excited for their life together.

This is a video of the toast I gave at the reception, and below are the words to the poem I wrote for it.

Say to each other "we can do this"
Say that you love the way that they kiss
    And you'll miss them for whatever time you're apart.
Say all the things you've said from the start,
    And any good thing you've said since then
Say it too, as long as it's from the heart.

Say that you're sorry, but more importantly
Say that you forgive. Don't keep score.
Say that you know they're worth fighting for
    But do your best not to fight.
Say to her "you're beautiful"
    Even when you wake in the middle of the night,
    Or in the morning when she'd never say it about herself.
Say that he's strong and ask for his help.

Say "I need you. For you I am grateful."
    Bite your own tongue before you let it sound hateful.
Say goodnight, good morning, goodbye, and good luck.
    Don't ever say words to each other like... schmuck.
    Let all that you say have the intent to encourage
    Let all that you say make your love flourish.
   
   When you think of something nice,
Say it, and mean it- however small.
   When you think of something mean, just
Say nothing at all.
Say "yes."
Say that you care.
Say that you're scared.
Say "it'll be okay" and believe in all the things you say.

Say "I love you"
    And when you say it, let the words carry the weight of their worth,
Say it like, of all the people on this whole earth,
    You'd choose each other every time.

Prayers and Poetry.

This is the first piece of my spoken word poetry that I actually performed in front of people. Afterward, some of them asked me for the words and I said I'd post it on here. It's still in the making, and I'd love your feedback. Perhaps I will perform it, and others, someday. Happy November, all!

Dear God, thank you for sun

And thank you for rain

Thank you for the growth that comes with pain

And that moment of healing when only beauty remains.

Thank you for scabs that turn to scars and don’t hurt anymore

And thank you for metaphors about windows and doors

That make us want to get out of our chairs and say yes to the world.

Thank you for beds at the end of days we wish could be erased

For grace

And for mace, not that we would use it, but it makes us feel safe

       on those nights when we walk home alone.

For the ability to hear smiles over the phone.

And for bodies that cry out to You from the depths of our bones.

For brains that send messages to the rest of our parts

That tell us how to feel, when to stop and when to start.

And thank you for the messages that say “feel joy right now.”

For our hearts that pump blood up through our bodies and all the way down

To our toes, to our nose, and even our elbows.

For hearts so strong that we made them our symbol for love.

And for love so true we can never be deprived of it.

Thank you for love.

Because forget the hokey pokey, love is what it’s all about.

And thank you for those times we start to doubt,

Because waiting on the shore of our sea of fears is true understanding coming out.

Thank you for the beauty of blue skies

And for the people in our lives so wise we can see the truth in their eyes.

Thank you for making mornings worth it just for the sunrise.

For jobs that start early and for the ones that go late,

Even at times when we want to say things like I hate

       everything.

Thank you for always reminding us that isn’t true,

And helping us find ways to love what we do

Because we know there are people who do much more for much less,

And we should never, for one second, forget that we're blessed.

For the people who have shaped who we are.

Who inspire us and motivate us to go far.

Thank you for making us whole always

For the promise of better days and for glimpses of glory in broken clouds’ sun rays.

Thank you for forgiveness, and the ability to forgive.

For redemption, salvation, restoration- the death of abomination

For knowing we'll never die, but through You can only ever truly live. 

I think this is peace.

There's that moment when the rain lets up just enough that I can hear my music again- beautiful and lyric-less- and suddenly I am strangely aware that there are lights on inside and I honestly feel like I could be doing anything in this moment and still be happy. I am living in that moment right now, and I am striving to make all my moments as content as this. I feel like I have been gradually inching toward the door for months, and a few days ago I finally set myself free. And it turns out all along I was just waiting for the key to a door that has always been unlocked. Now I live on the outside of the things that used to cause me pain, and I tell you what, there's more to see out here. I feel the effects of truly being free by the fact that every time I cry, it's only because I'm happy. I am moved to tears by things that I find beautiful, not by the bittersweet pain of believing in something that doesn't exist, wanting something I can't have- something that was once so good but has since turned bad and long before I decided that the bitter far outweighed the sweet. This was my downfall: a grip too strong on all the wrong things, an inability to forgive. But at the end of the day, it is still a choice just to live, and to live is not the same as to breathe.

Perspective.

Here is the story of my life over the past week and a half. It has a happy ending and a moral, so don't give up on it too quickly.

It goes like this: school, work, homework, church, sleep. To be specific: 15 hours worth of English classes. Only. English. Classes. 30 hour work weeks with shifts beginning at 4:30 or 6 AM. Several hours of reading every night. Church groups 4 nights a week. And I was just kidding about sleep. It's not really a character in this story.

But the worst thing about the last week and a half is that I let the above paragraph make me whiny, grumpy, self-pitying, and downright negative. Whenever I talked I was annoying even myself, but I just kept complaining and drawing everyone's attention to all the things I had going on. I even began letting myself believe that I was simply going to be miserable most of the semester. 

As I was driving home from an event Tuesday night I had an epiphany: 

I don't want to live my life waiting for the day to end.

I'm always telling other people not to wish time away, to make the most out of everyday, and to learn to love the things in life that we can't change. Yet, I let all of those core values that I claim to cling to slip far from my mind. I've been doing so much changing over the last month or two, but I almost let some of that get unraveled- and for what?

The thing is, there's no point to it. Complaining, negativity- it has no benefit for anyone. It's just foolish to choose not to be happy. And I do think, to some extent, it's a choice we make. I know that life isn't always going to be good. I'm not an idiot. But I genuinely believe in the power of positive thinking, and I don't think that our happiness is as directly linked to what happens in our lives as much as it is to how we handle it and to what extent we let it shape us. Life's beauty is really just a matter of our perception. The right perspective is like capturing a picture with the right light- it doesn't change what's actually there, but it makes the way we see it more beautiful.

So, the moral of the story is: think good thoughts. It's so simple. You've heard it all your life. But sadly, we have this innate tendency to gravitate toward negativity. I don't think we have to choose to be negative, and a lot of times we aren't completely aware we're doing it. But when we constantly make a choice throughout the day to cleanse our thoughts of that negativity, life is completely different. Try it. As you go through your day tomorrow, guide your thoughts in a positive direction. Look for the good in people, and find reasons to enjoy everything that you do.

My current positive thoughts:
Autumn is approaching and it is the best time of year. I have a job. And at that job I get to interact with people in a friendly and genuine way. I can run 7 miles without stopping, and 2 months ago I could barely run 1. I am creative, and have the means by which to express that creativity. I have the best people in my life. My wounds from the last year are healing into scars that almost don't hurt anymore and they remind me of how strong I am. I am feeling confident, empowered, independent, and valuable. I am inspired by so many people and things and I know that I can inspire others. I can take 15 hours, work 30 hours, run 20 miles, read 300 pages, spend 3 nights at church, and maintain a social life all in one week. And when I say 'can,' I really mean 'get to,' because Lord knows every single one of those things is a privilege and I intend to treat it that way.