Friday, February 25, 2011

Taking off your watch.

Today I cannot stop thinking about how ungrateful we have become.

I got up extra early today so as to give myself enough time to look especially fly for my trip to Springfield tonight. (I don't know if you know this, but Springfield sort of expects all of its visitors to come looking sexy.) I have class at 9:00 in the AM, so I got up at 7:30. As I was damaging my blonde locks by way of heat, I realized I had probably given myself too much time to get ready. My first reaction was "well shoot, I could have slept longer." As soon as I let myself think that I realized that, if anything, I should be happy that I will have a few extra minutes to eat breakfast or just relax.

I got to school only to find out that my teacher wasn't going to be able to make it. Again, the initial response that ensued was one of frustration. I almost failed to recognize that I was complaining about a blessing. All of a sudden I had an extra hour of my day to do whatever I wanted.

So, I spent the next two hours catching up on homework and reflecting on the very things about which I am typing. I go to my 11:00 class to, once again, be informed that class isn't happening today.

In other words I have been awake for 4 hours for nothing, right? SO wrong. This is a problem we have today. We're always talking about wasted time. Somehow we've gotten into this mindset that if we're not doing something then we are wasting time. Even if we are doing something, in order to really make our time "worth it" we have to be doing something else too, we're the generation of multi-taskers. We can always be doing more and more to reach these goals we have. It's always about getting something done. What happened to just enjoying life in the present? If we take a few minutes to stand outside or just take a few breaths, we're accused of not using our time wisely and waiting in line is this huge inconvenience that gets in the way of doing important things.

Well I say sometimes doing nothing is important. I say life is not about managing your time just right so that at the end of your life you can have perfected a list of skills and climbed higher than a list of people and been awarded a list of titles and positions that really just meant you were getting paid more to be home less. I say we should think less about where we're trying to go, and focus on how we're getting there. I say that we should see waiting in line as an opportunity to be alone with our thoughts, or prayers, or day dreams. I say that we should relish in canceled meetings and extra time in the morning to praise God for the breath in our lungs and the pillow under our heads. I say we should stop caring so much about these tight schedules that lock us down and realize that every minute is a blessing.

This life is a gift for which we should be grateful. The weddings and graduations and promotions are gifts, but so are the car trips and elevator rides and the five minutes early that you got off work. How rude is it to write off some of these gifts as a waste? There will inevitably be times in our lives when we are forced to do things that seem trivial and lacking any conceivable merit, but it is still on us to decide if that time is wasted. Find some reason to make every day count for something. Walk away from everything feeling like it was worth something.

What's the point in coming out of something exactly as you went in? Let things change you for the better. Learn something new. Give everything a reason to be remembered.

As for me, I am grateful for these few hours to be able to manifest my thoughts for the first time in weeks and create something. I hope you have an exceptional weekend, whoever you are.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Being a tree.

I haven't really been able to think of something terrific to write about, or whenever I do find something I want to say I struggle to say it right. So, until this little blip of writer's block goes away, I will just share with you a few completely silly poems I wrote earlier this year. I was going back through my journal and found them, so I figured I might as well share these in the mean time. Enjoy!

Aren't you glad you're not a tree?
Although you'd live, and grow, and breathe.
You'd change, and blossom, then parts of you'd die.
People would cut you, and you wouldn't know why.
There are trees that feed
         and trees that weep.
Trees from which people learn to leap.
There are trees that are only for people to climb.
And ones that are judged a big waste of time.
Many trees do nothing but stand and make shade.
Others live on through the pages they've made.
The thing that makes people different than trees,
Is that they have no legs and they have no knees.
Trees can flourish and trees can sway,
But a tree can never walk away.

My thoughts on the rainbow:

I think that yellow is the happiest color.
Green has alterior motives.
Blue can be boring or beautifully brilliant.
Purple is for girls who dream of Prince Charming.
Pink is just misunderstood.
So is black.
Brown got the short end of the stick.
Red is like saying 'I love you' at the wrong time.
And orange has no secrets.

Monday, February 7, 2011


As human beings we have a natural tendency to want to be in control. We like to see what we're facing and be able to choose what happens with our lives. If even for a moment we are unable to see at least a portion of the road ahead of us, we go ballistic.

I remember the first time I sneezed while learning how to drive. I thought I was going to die, I really did. All of a sudden, while trying to master this terrifying skill of driving- putting myself and everyone else on the road at risk at all times- I was forced to close my eyes. No longer could I be sure I was staying in the right lane. I had no way of knowing if the car in front of me had abruptly stopped. What if I just ran a red light? I would have no clue. It's a temporary yet dreadfully scary loss of control- not to mention you are now inevitably covered in boogers. When sneezes attack, for 10 to 30 seconds (or 15 minutes if you are my grandma or Alexis Martin) we are forced to blindly grip the wheel and hope that it all turns out okay.

For some reason, nearly everyone speaks about events in their future as if they are clairvoyant: "in May we're going to Cabo," or "next summer I'm getting married" (note- these are two random examples, neither of which apply to me). How very presumptuous of us to think that we can ever know what will happen to us. Life is full of sneezes. Sometimes we feel them coming, and other times we are totally caught off guard. No matter what we think we see down the road, the truth is that at any moment we could be left gripping the wheel that guides our life with eyes tight shut, praying that we don't get in a wreck.

The mission of this post is not at all to spread propaganda for pessimism, rather to plea for a little flexibility. It's okay to believe in dreams and plans that we want to happen, but at the end of the day it is imperative to realize that not everything will go the way we've imagined it will. It's impossible to avoid the unpredictable anyway, why not invite some spontaneity to your existence? If your life is already full of surprises and lacking in routine, it won't seem so scary when life throws you a curve ball. Don't get hung up on the elaborately illustrated future you've painted for yourself and enjoy today!