Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Thoughts Free Flowing.

I don't like songs that are titled with a girl's name. I love how relieving it is to sneeze. Mumford and Sons tickles my eardrums. It doesn't feel like Christmastime. French horns make the most beautiful sounds. Eloquence is my favorite word, but I can never find the words to explain why. This song makes me think of you. I wish it would snow. I wish everybody really liked themselves. I don't understand why eyes are basically only brown, green, or blue. God branded me with a birthmark in the place that tramp stamps normally call home. I've always wanted to be left handed, and I've always wanted glasses. I secretly kind of want to be famous someday. I don't feel like I am doing anything with my life, which makes me feel bad for loving it so much. What would happen if everybody smiled at strangers? What would happen if everyone meant it when they said 'I love you'? I'm pretty sure you can never love your mom too much. I like to chew on things. I feel guilty for not watching the sunrise more often. I've been looking forward to this song since I clicked shuffle. Tomorrow's going to be great.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Love is Like a Natural Disaster.

You are about to read a piece of my poetry. This is a rare occasion as I have never shown anyone my poetry, much less the millions of people who read my blog (those figures may be a bit off). So here it goes. I must confess to you my vulnerability in doing this and plead with you not to stop reading my blog even if you think my poem is stupid. Thanks.

Also, just a disclaimer: I plan on never posting a poem that directly reflects my current struggles in life. So, there is no need for you to try to sympathize or attempt to figure out what event in my life a particular poem stems from. Any poetry I share with you will not be to express my feelings but rather to share my stab at art.

There were no more roses,
There were no more smiles.
And there was certainly no more laughter.
All the butterflies had gone
And the birds no longer sang.
The sun neither rose nor set,
painting the sky in shades of pink.
There was no more pink.
There was no more light.
No flowers remained
No sky. Just rain.
And the claims that any man has ever made
That he wouldn’t leave us broken and
The words “I love you” melted into tears
to be absorbed by tissue and thrown away.
Feelings that refused to fade
Fueling the pain that feeds the stress.
That's how it felt.
But that is not how it feels.
An earthquake may shake a city, but the buildings still stand.
You were an earthquake.
I am a city.
But the fault was always on you.
And now the rubble has cleared and I can see beauty again.

Have a delightful week.

3 days until Harry Potter!!! 

Monday, November 8, 2010


First of all, let me just say that this picture doesn't even begin to do justice to the amazing sunset I watched tonight. 

The view from my church is one of the best views in town, often used as a make-out hot spot, and I accidentally found myself there tonight. For some reason I pulled out in the wrong direction from my parking spot so I just decided to go the other way around the church. I saw the pink sky and I whipped into a spot before I had even decided that's what I wanted to do.

This was one of those weeks that I knew would be rough so I started out with Wonder Woman strength but by the end of the week my muscles had deflated and I was emotionally drained. Man, I saw that sun setting over the city and I broke down. I do not mean to say this for pity. In fact, if I were to ever do that please leave explicit comments on the post as ramifications for my bad taste. No, I am not seeking pity because I'm talking about the good kind of break down. I generally reserve my tears for the shower or car rides exceeding 20 minutes... just how I roll. Every so often, though, a really solid cry leaves me feeling renewed.

When I saw this most glorious sight I was just like, badang God is good. On top of that, I was listening to Colin Hay- a fav of mine, and the song was Waiting for My Real Life to Begin. Now, half of me really loves this song because I feel like I am doing just that, but I also feel like I should be taking action so as not to feel that way, so I am faced with this dichotomy. 

You should also know that I am a quirky (some might say weird) person and therefore, do quirky (weird) things. One of these is that sometimes in love songs I pretend God is singing. Some might think that's touching, some might think it's stupid, but really I just do it because it's usually kind of funny or really bizarre. So for some reason I just kind of did that for this song and it was actually beautifully soothing.

"...be still my love  
Open up your heart, let the light shine in  
Don't you understand  
I already have a plan"

I know that is not how the song is meant to be interpreted, but it just made me feel really good.

Sorry for the lack of eloquence in this post. I hope you still enjoyed it.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Unconventional Advice.

Below I have listed 12 pieces of original advice that I personally believe will change your life.

1. Stop wearing underwear. Trust me, it will set you free.
2. Take longer showers. What's the rush? Enjoy a few minutes at the end of each shower of simply standing there letting the hot water massage your back. Relax and get yourself mentally prepared to have a great day.
3. Floss. Not everyday, because then it's not as satisfying when you do. If you wait a little bit between each floss, you can see the results of your hard work better.
4. Talk to strangers. I mean more than just a friendly "hello." Make people feel good by caring about how they are or complimenting them. Make eye contact. Smile!
5. Censor your daydreams. Fantasize about your possibilities, about the great things you can do. Invest in daydreams that leave you feeling inspired and motivated to be great. Avoid spending time thinking about things you can't change, about the way you want things to be; when you come back to life you'll be sad.
6. Climb trees as often as possible. And look down even if you're scared.
7. Don't wish time away. Live in the now. You can still be eager for things to come, but instead of sustaining a mindset of "I wish it were Friday," look for something to make today enjoyable. What's the point in not making the most of every day?
8. Tell people how you feel.
9. Only wear shoes when necessary. In other words while walking on hot coals, snow, or glass. (Or, of course, when the shoes complete your outfit.)
10. Exercise your creativity. It doesn't matter how.
11. Don't complain. Just don't. Few things in the world are more pointless than complaining. Crocs, for example.
12. Remind yourself of why you're awesome. Because you are. And it is a lot harder for people to notice if you haven't even convinced yourself.

#4 is dedicated to Alexis Renee Martin for living that way each day and spreading that lifestyle to me.


Up until about two weeks ago, there was a brown converse sitting in the middle of Holmes Road just north of 85th street. It was there for a solid month or so. I passed it to and from school every day. The month in which that shoe resided between the yellow lines of northbound and southbound was not a particularly good month for me. On more occasions than I'd like to admit, I would be approaching 85th looking through the blurred vision of tear-filled eyes, in no mood to smile. Now folks, I am not exaggerating when I tell you that every time I saw that Chuck Taylor looking at me I could not keep from smiling. Every single day, without fail. See the shoe. Bing! Smile. End of story.

Some days I would be halfway home and remember it and look forward to seeing it for the rest of the drive. Other days I would be so preoccupied with my spinning head that I would totally forget about it until there it was and I was oddly instantly uplifted.

I will never be able to explain what about that shoe made me so happy. Perhaps it was the consistency or just the sheer bizarreness, but the day I noticed it was no longer there I felt like crying. There were so many things left unanswered: how did it get there? to whom did it belong? what size was it? is it a left shoe or a right shoe? But the real mystery is where did it go? It went a month without budging and then suddenly it vanished.

I miss that shoe, man. Now there is a dead raccoon (unrelated to the missing shoe) in almost the same spot, which evokes the entirely opposite emotion in me.

Moral of the story: look both ways before crossing the street.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Making Metaphors out of Molehills.

Have you ever gotten on an elevator and forgotten to push any buttons? And you don't really know how much time has passed before you realize you're not going anywhere unless you press a button.

I was standing in an elevator today and it hit me how clearly that parallels with life. I mean, you can stand in that elevator for as long as you please, but you will never reach the floor you want until you do something. All the while, life will keep going on around you.

Time doesn't stop.

So, until you make a decision to move, you're just going to stay right where you are- and then what good are you doing?

My life elevator doesn't have floors.
I refuse to let my life be defined by the ascension on a staircase of social norms we think lead to happiness. It's not like floor one- finish college; floor two- get married. And besides, I've always been an it's-about-the-journey-not-the-destination kind o' gal.

I just know that it's about time I press some kind of metaphorical button on my elevator of life and start doing something with this life.