The Sunrise Gets Me High.

so it turns out being deathly sick for 5 days results in the ability to stay awake foreverrrrrrrrrr. I'm finally feeling better and am loaded with energy. With the exception of class, a doctor's appointment, and working at state music contest, I have essentially been asleep since Friday night. If not asleep, then lying rather vegetable-like in my bed loathing the fact that my perfect immune system has been weakened and my body infiltrated with a virus.

then I subbed my breathe better meds for sleep better meds for a night and now I can't breathe again. cool.

I decided to stay up all night tonight to get stuff done. Turns out all I have really accomplished is that which I needed to have done for today anyway. But now I will have plenty of time to look as sexy as possible for my last day of class. Mizzou's finna know what they missin out on... says internal black Allyson.

Plus, Alexis and I are making pancakes in the morning which is a rarity. Not the making pancakes part but the in the morning part. Normally we save pancakes for brinner, which we used to make on a weekly (sometimes even semi-weekly) basis.

I love STILL being awake while a good portion of the rest of the country (or at least of the midwest) is beginning to wake up, or at least taking those first swats at their alarm clock. It makes me feel weird. But the good kind of weird.

ya know?

Something about staying all night gives me this feeling of invincibility (anybody else feel like this word has waaay to many 'i's?). I feel inexplicably happy and eager to see what the day has to offer. I must confess that I wish I started everyday like that but truth be told, I probably begin most days with grogginess.

But where does grogginess get us? While in the state of grogginess what is it that we want? To sleep. And do we get to sleep? No. Sooo, why waste time wishing you were in bed when you could be embracing the day. You have to be awake, right? so seize the day.

The sky is getting lighter. My last day of class at the University of Missouri is officially commencing. In 3 hours I have a french exam and in 9 I will be on a bus coming home from my last day of class.

I have a bad case of crusty-nose...

among other things including:

-an ear infection

-a pretty intense cold

-afore mentioned costochondritis

Life has been rough-ish lately. Not just the physical maladies, I could handle those. It's the added stress of finishing school, transferring schools, being in a long distance relationship, uncertainties of the future. All of those things are beautiful in their own way but they can do a number on you.

I just found out I will be working at my church again this summer. This is very good news and definitely helps alleviate a lot of my current stress. I get to work a lot in the missions field which is where I'm passionate so that is awesome. Not to mention a free trip to Florida for an amazing worship/spiritual growth experience. I need to get my beach bod back in check. Italy is probably not going to help with that... oh well.

There are crumbs in my bed. One of my very least favorite things in the world is sitting on crumbs.

Okay, that's enough complaining for one blog post. I apologize for there being very little worth actually reading in this post. I'll be better next time.

The yellow wing darter is my favorite dragonfly.

I am so ready for the semester to be over. Not so ready to deal with finals, but they shouldn't be so bad. Then home for 2 days. A day in STL with my boo, Alexis, and then Italy for two weeks!! So excitedddd.

I've never been to Europe but have always wanted to visit. I kind of expected my first trip to be either to Spain or France, as I am studying the language/culture of both, but I have no complaints about going to Italy. Excuse me, not just going. Singing in Italy. Singing beautiful rich music to reflect the life of Leonardo Da Vinci. It is going to be an amazing experience. I will surely post pictures.

So for the last two/three weeks I have gotten less sleep than ever before in my life. I spent an entire week staying up til at least 4am, never fully recovered, then pulled an all-nighter at the beginning of last week. This weekend I have finally been able to catch up on sleep and have time to myself and it has been GLORIOUS. Words cannot express.

A lot of people wouldn't enjoy this much time to themselves to do nothing. And it's not that I don't love people, I do. My passion is to love people. But these last two nights have been so relaxing... and informative. I've been on this researching-things-for-fun kick. Last night it was dragonflies and tonight I memorized the list of Presidents. Super geeky, I know. But I don't care. I am enjoying myself.

Oh! p.s. I have costochondritis. Or something with similar letters to that. Basically the muscles around my ribs are inflamed preventing the ribs from fully expanding when I inhale. Thus, I constantly feel like I can't get enough air. I'm taking these pills every 8 hours and they help.

p.p.s. Popcorn + M&Ms = best combination of all time. just sayin

I worry that I think about Harry Potter too much.

I’m much too new at this whole blogging thing to be this bad at updating. The funny thing is that I don’t wait until I have enough time to blog. On a normal day I probably have a good anywhere from 3-5 hours perfect for blogging. When I have free time though, I just always find something else to do. It’s when I really need to get something important done that I suddenly find myself blogging as a distraction. Distractions can be healthy. At least I think so.

I’m reading Blue Like Jazz right now. I feel like if I want to fit in with all the trendy Christians I need to be able to quote Donald Miller at a moment’s notice. No, that’s not really why. I just thought it seemed like a good book to read. And thus far ol Don hasn’t proved me wrong. I feel like on days where I use a good portion of my allotted brain power reading this book, I tend to make quirky analogies about God and life just like Donald Miller. Only not at all like Donald Miller because nobody would pay to read them. I also have a tendency to think up (what I am just certain at the time are) great profundities as I am sleeping. In moments like these I rush to jot down my thoughts so as to ponder them at a later time. The most recent of these being:

“Do you think God laughs with us or do you think he’s kind of like Dumbledore? Like, he’ll smile down at you if you make a joke but won’t really chime in.”

I’m not sure what I said to God before that to make me wonder whether or not he laughed. I’m also not sure if it is at all sac-religious to compare God to Dumbledore, but I did it anyway. Of all the characters in all the books ever written, I would say that Dumbledore is hands down the most comparable to God. Except maybe Aslan. Or Jesus…

Enough of that.

So spring break came and went much too quickly and now the days drag on. Sometimes I really hate how time flies and I especially hate to entertain the idea that it will only go by more quickly as I get older. I recognize this as a truth, it is only logical. As we get older each year becomes a smaller fraction or our entire life. When we’re 4, a year is a quarter of our life. At 40 well, it’s a lot less.

I just think time is so fascinating, but at the same time it makes my head spin. I think the best thing to do is to just live in each moment and milk it for all its worth.

Goodnight.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

I really need to work updating this into my regular schedule. Who am I kidding? I have no regular schedule.

First of all, praise the good Lord it is 47 degrees out. Now, I really do try not to complain about things but the cold was becoming just a little much to bear. I am immensely grateful to be able to experience 4 beautiful seasons, but winter may have overstayed its welcome this year. Not so much that even, perhaps it was just its (his, her? what gender do you think winter would be?) sheer intensity that left us desperately awaiting spring.

I have always said that fall is my favorite season and as much as I do love the autumn air and the changing leaves, I am beginning to think that it is the transition from each season to the next that I love more than anything else. I love the anticipation. I love that there is something to look forward to about each season. I love the mere break from the monotony of whatever season we are currently in that I am inevitably bored of. And I love the wardrobe change. There is nothing like busting out your sun dresses and sandals or unpacking your favorite sweaters.

We are starting to get into that period of mother nature's identity crisis. It's not quite spring but winter is certainly (cross your fingers) on her (I think winter would be a big powerful woman) way out. However, everyone is so excited about a temperature increase of a few degrees that they are already running wild in their booty shorts and flip flops. I appreciate their enthusiasm but I think they might be a little premature. After all, it still has yet to hit 50. But hey, who am I to judge?

As for me, I will continue sporting my unbuttoned coat as I love to do during said transitional periods. I find it provides just the right amount of warmth and breeze (not to mention liberating my chic sense of style from the bondage of my pea-coat which it has so long been under). I have also broken out my flats and what a joyous occasion that has been.

Lastly, I have had poor Theodore, my bike, U-locked to my porch for a good 2-3 months and I think it is finally time for him to journey back to campus. Although the distance between all my courses is too small for ole Theo to be of actual transportational (not a word) use, I cannot wait to just ride it around campus.

The moral of this post, intended to be about my love for the great outdoors and life's various seasons, has turned into fashion word vomit. My apologies. I hope you are all enjoying this beautiful sunshine wherever you may be.

Finally...

Sorry (to all 3 of you who read this) for taking so long to update.

The only reason I'm even updating now is to distract myself from studying. That's a good enough reason, right?

I went home last weekend to visit family that I haven't seen in years and it was so good. It was brief, but I enjoyed it. We began cleaning out my grandma (Memaw)'s house. I found some pretty sweet things including this super retro camera. It's beautiful, looks much cooler in person.

I've begun to seriously consider UMKC for school next year. I think it would be really great to be close to some of the most important people in my life. Not to mention paying a fraction of the price. And of course, living in the heart of Kansas City. My roommate, Alexis, and I will be braving the mega bus next weekend to come home and check it out.

These last several months I've kind of taken on the motto of never wishing time away. It's hard because I tend to get super excited about things in the future and yearn for them to come so much that I lose sight of the now. I just want to push through it to the part I'm looking forward to. That's not right though. I don't want to just get through life waiting for the next exciting thing to happen. Everyday has something amazing to offer if you just look for it. I'm all about being progressive and moving forward but not at the cost of losing today.

What's the point of living each day just waiting for tomorrow?

I've recently become obsessed with this Australian singer/songwriter Kate Miller-Heidke. She opened for Ben Folds when I saw him in September and she was unbelievable. She has a beautifully unique voice and can also sing opera which she incorporates into a lot of her songs. She's really funky which I love. Anyway, she has these lyrics which go:

If we could save time, where would we keep it?
If we could keep time, when could we use it?
If we waste time, will it waste us

Are we too much like time, impossible to define?

I just really like that. And her. Check her out on Itunes but I must warn you, her stuff is a little eccentric. She is extremely talented though, I assure you. Also, being from Australia automatically makes her awesome. I'm dying to go there.

My other new(ish) motto can be found in the URL for this page: find the beauty in life. I know that sounds a little corny but I don't mean for it to be. I'm not talking about seeing beauty in the already beautiful things like roses and sunsets. I am talking about looking past the negative and trying to find something beautiful. It makes life so much more enjoyable. I keep becoming more and more aware of how completely useless it is to complain. Cursing the cold weather doesn't make it warmer, but how amazing is the intricacy of a snowflake? We are so quick to focus on the negative but that gets us nowhere. Not to mention how ugly it makes us. I've been observing people's faces walking to class and it is pretty easy to point out the negative from the positive. I LOVE seeing happy strangers who smile back. love it.

Okay, I should really get back to my studies so I can go to sleep soon. I have fallen a little bit ill which is rare for me, not that I'm complaining...

Thanks for reading. I hope a fabulous weekend is in store for you.

Cold Sunlight is Better Than No Sunlight.

I'm lacking profundity today so I think I'll go with bullets:

a. My room is unbearably cold right now. The rest of the apartment is fine while my room is like the frozen tundra. sheesh.

b. I just want to point out how wonderful it was to see the sun this weekend. I love waking up to the sunlight seeping into my room even though I know it's still cold outside. I'm obsessed with sunshine.

c. Thanks to bullet b, as the sun was going down yesterday the sky was an array of blue shades. The specific shade that was taking up most of the sky around 6 was the most gorgeous color. I couldn't stop staring at it.

d. I fell asleep in my class today for the first time this semester. whoops.

e. I also walked on water today so I think that should cover for my academic delinquency. Yes?

I think so.
f. My best friend Courtney is in Chile right now and let me borrow her keyboard while she is gone. I practiced piano for a few hours today and even though I'm rusty and it takes me longer than it should to learn things, it's really nice to play again.

h. LOST starts back up tomorrow and I can hardly contain my excitement... even though after watching every episode last season I still have no idea what's going on. Just part of the beauty of the show.

That's all for now. It's almost 4 am and I should be asleep. Happy February, everyone.